Wednesday, December 17, 2008

reality vs dreams

i had a dream about the boys last night.  it wasn't particularly a good dream-they were here in america but were in an orphanage that looked good but that i knew wasn't good.  but i was with them just the same and when i woke up i missed them SO much.  reality here distracts me so that each day is easier, but then something like a dream happens and it reminds me how much i miss them.....its so hard.

Friday, December 5, 2008

a definition

I've thrown out the label of 'special needs' to refer to our kids in terms of: "our case is looking good since there are three of them and we want to adopt all and also because they are special needs kids." I get worried looks from people when I say that and I rush to say "well, ya know, not REALLY special needs, just because of their history and such..." I feel like I have to defend them, to explain them and I haven't been really clear myself on what that label actually means. I was reading the book "Parenting the Hurt Child" yesterday and ran across a good explantion of the definition of the 'special needs' child in terms of adoption and also what goes along with that term. I think it really suits our situation and where our boys are coming from....

"The term 'special needs' is one that sends chills down the spine of a potential adoptive parent, because it suggests that the child has a severe intellectual or physical impairment. In truth, the adoption world defines 'special needs' as any child who is not an infant, is part of a sibling group, had prenatal exposure to drugs and alcohol, has had multiple caregivers, or who has been the victim of neglect or abuse. In essence, nearly all adopted children, regardless of their place of birth, fit the definition."